Honest application essay for every extravagant college

Hello, I am Kaushiki Ishwar, a name my parents chose so that I can make them proud. I have a dubious personality, full of contradictions and all I do in my pastime is daydream with eroticism as my favourite genre. People and media barges in and says it out loud to be yourself but the defection in myself feels that the way that leads to myself is apparently invisible. I have zero percent idea what I want to be, who I want to be and how shall I lead my life. I agree, tons of people are ready to be therapist and help me explore the horizons I have and make me delve into the privilege I adorn. 17 years of my life have been thought provoking and somewhat the same but individual experiences carry subtleties which demand appreciation. My parents chose the most expensive school, thinking that I will be more civilized and decent. I do not ignore that fact that I am not one them but the liberties that were associated with going to an extravagant school made me understand how luxuries are hollow. With this I am not defaming the reputation of your college an even undermining the over-ratedness that the colleges appeals but all I want to pinpoint is the way I am incapable of affording such luxuries. With unable o find my way or even ascribe a vision, I am turning an existentialist and all I prefer is understatements boiled in a pan and served in a cup of Harvard. You can titilize me as delusional and I don’t want to delve into that because I don’t want this to believe just for the sake of an essay. I have short term goals which I try to do amidst my procrastination. Moreover, I also want to add that past my passive negativity I have faith that with adequate explorations oh no, with some level of explorations, I will find a way where I will be chasing the transience of life and asserting how valuable I am to the society. I will be taking shapes and that will not be termed as dubious but rather an adaptive behaviour. Survival of the fittest and the most contributively. Every day is a hustle and this will get harder but all I will plead is to my mind to be in control and have the power to suffer the pain. I am learning and this is not a short term process but all I can conclued is that the never dying attitude inside me that plummets the urge of never saying no to a task, conditions applied is trustable. I will be a person that has not targeted onto let alone to be maybe a powerful person who works for good. I completely get it if my application essay does not have any appealing and differentiating factor but all I can suggest is that satisfaction is not a thing in materialistic synagogues.