I am a bad nihilist

I reside with a family that is a religious fanatic, accepts all morals and principles that believes in indiscernible exodus of people who rejects stereotypes. It’s ironic how being born and brought in a conventional family has made me open up to the possibilities that a religious text does not offer. Breaking rules is often a scandalous approach and god is always revolving around your shoulders to punish you. Finishing up the very enigmatic American German web series ‘unorthodox’, I have magnificently appreciated the little liberties that I have been bestowed with but something that was making me unable to gobble is the reality that Debora Feldman defied and is very well portrayed in her memoir ‘unorthodox- a scandalous rejection of my Hasidic roots’ which is a loosely adapted script for the series.

Esty Shapiro, the protagonist of the web series was headstrong and had the courage to adapt to a new life that was not guided by her community in Williamsburg, USA. Esther Shapiro could have taken pills but the other side of the life full of varied horizons seemed to invite her. Women termed as a baby producing machine are only revered if their offspring is making up for the six million Jews that were lost during the holocaust. She could have pleaded for mercy killing or should have committed suicide with the baby in her womb instead with new found freedom she headed off to Berlin to pursue her interest in music. From pianist to every ones heartthrob, age old eleven made us all acknowledge the little pleasures that life has to offer us.

Sometimes, I wander how my anxious mind takes me to passive thoughts where ending it seems a viable option. There is no one who gets up enthusiastic and sets off in a high mood; it’s not me, not you. Days are hopeless and the very demanding urge to find a meaning of life is evident in everyone’s hollow eyes. Some may fall prey to depression or other hallucinatory thoughts but some may deal with it with such enthusiasm which makes us all a bad nihilist. Remember, how I quoted dismissible that being born in a conservatory family makes me feel the ingenuousness or appreciated the wings of a bird. Like that if a nihilist commemorates a day to appreciate life, it is just another shade of human which makes us existentialist. Lest I have been trying to delve into philosophy because every answer lies into the depth of theorems and human hypocrisy. Those who condemn hypocrisy don’t appreciate change.